Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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