He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
