I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
