May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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