the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Randomize
