Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
