its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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