Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
