Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize