He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
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I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
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Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
How does one acquire holy water?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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