It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
