he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
