You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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