walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
