im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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