Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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