I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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