dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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