We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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