I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
