She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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