the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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