so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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