No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
