i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
