The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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