Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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