they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Randomize
