She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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