actually, I'm a sock model
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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