My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
