It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize