Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
i think im in europe. pls send help
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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