We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
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He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
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I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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