so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
