something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
