So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
