thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
