I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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