Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
