erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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