I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
