the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
