Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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