I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
