he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
