are you still at the devil's house?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
