he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
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She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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