I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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