You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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