Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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