The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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