just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
