I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
PANTIES FOUND
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
