Already got asked if we're dating
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize