Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
