I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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