If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Randomize