I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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