You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
