Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
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