Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
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