the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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